Big fat whiny late night post ...

It's nearly 11:30 on a Monday night. Around 10:30 tonight I started feeling weird. My upper lip felt funny. So I went to the mirror and HOLY crap, something is clearly wrong. My upper lip is numb and gigantic. In the past hour it's tripled in size. It doesn't hurt, but it has me panicked. And I'm all upset. Mainly I'm feeling sorry for myself.

I have no idea why this is happening. It's like an allergic reaction or a bee sting. But I've done nothing different, haven't eaten anything out of the norm and I haven't been stung by a bee. But as I type this it's getting bigger. My lips are huge at the best of times, but it's so swollen right now that there is absolutely no definition. I am too embarrassed to call my doctor. So I call those closest to me.

BFF offered to go get Benadryl, but was already in bed so I told him to forget it and go to sleep.

Long distance boyfriend said, "Put ice on it and go to bed."

Mom says, "Go to drugstore and get Benedryl or go to hospital if you're so worried." Gee thanks mom.

So, I barely make it off the phone with mom before I start sobbing. Big fat baby infant tears. I'm too proud to call anyone else for help. I don't want to wake up my sleeping child to go to pharmacy. And I'm scared and alone. And it fucking sucks. Bad.

I hate crying. I should take a Xanax.

My head is pounding, my eyes won't stop crying and my lips are the size of two German sausages.

I know that I'm a grown up and can take care of myself, but still I feel alone. It's times like this when I miss my nana the most. She would have woken from a deep slumber to come take care of me. And she would have patted my back until I fell asleep. Man, I really miss her.

I've really enjoyed being single lately, but I'm ready to find a new husband. A partner. Someone who will baby me and tell me it's ok when my lips suddenly and randomly blow up to the size of Detroit. I just want to be looked after.

I'm whiny. My lips aren't going down. They feel funny and they are numb.

I guess I'll just go to bed. I found some Children's Benedryl from 2008 in the medicine cabinet. I took half a bottle with a 2mg Xanax. Hopefully my lips will be normal in the morning. If not, I guess I'll go to doctor.

This has put me in a really bad mood.

Good night.

Love,

Lisa Rinna

UPDATE: I drove myself to hospital. They are admitting me for a sec. More details later.